He beats me, But the Bible Says I can't Leave Him, Why?

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Permalink Reply by Team Vik- Tamyra on March 13, 2009 at 11:33pm

I know one thing, the bibles DOES say that our bodies are God's temple. Why stay in a home/relationship where someone is destroying God's temple? There are many topics, such as this one, that the bible does not address directly, but common sense is a beautiful thing ;-) I would most definitely go out on a limb and say that GOD FROWNS ON ABUSE of any form, and that there is no reason in the world that a person should remain in an abusive relationship

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Permalink Reply by Team Vik Lisa on March 14, 2009 at 2:16pm

I understand exactly where you are coming from, so are you saying they should get divorced?

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Permalink Reply by Phyllis on March 14, 2009 at 2:38pm

Sometimes if an unbelieving husband or carnal(living in the world) is wanting to leave and is beating his wife, according the the scriptures,she is free to go or let him go and is called to peace.

Sometimes a seperation(physically taking the way of escape to be able to bear her trials and temptations) with Godly councel and wisdom applied to the dysfunctional relationship will help them to work thru the issue of the abuse and give them other solutions and ways to communicate and solve their problems . This will NOT end in divorce neither will they continue in the spousal abuse. Then the other scriptures that say her behavior coupled with fear will win him over to the Lord, and if he is already a believer needing anger management and to walk in the ways of the fruit of the Holy Spirit, then her love and forgiveness( 70 x 70 style...meaning over and over again ) can help convert him and cover the multitude of his sins.

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Permalink Reply by Brian on March 17, 2009 at 12:31pm

That's good Phyllis. We as parents have to realize how spousal abuse effect our children as well. It tends to shape their charactor, and cause them to have to fight needless battles within themselves. Spousal abuse will actually shape who they become.

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Permalink Reply by Team Vik- Tamyra on March 26, 2009 at 10:41pm

Well, thats what I would do. But I can't speak for everyone. I've known some women who chose to just seperate until they're husband got help, and they got back together and everything was cool. If it works out like that, I say more power to 'em, but for me, I'd have to bounce :-)

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Permalink Reply by Viktory on March 16, 2009 at 10:07am

So if they want to leave... let them go...

if they want to stay... get help, and try working it out...

if they want to stay, but refuse help... separate...

is this what you're saying?

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Permalink Reply by L.W. on March 16, 2009 at 7:12pm

ya boi phyllis hit the nail on the head

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Permalink Reply by Brian on March 17, 2009 at 12:20pm

First we must understand that God will never leave us nor will He ever forsake us. That's first. Second, we must learn to give our problems, all of our issues to Him. Him being our protector, We should feel perfectly safe and assured that He will do what He says. He is our God and He stands for integrity. God will handle issues such as this, but He must be invited to the party. He gave man the position as head and He won't violate his headship, unless His daughter cries out for help. He will come, and He will protect. He will heal you, and won't even allow the scars in your mind to govern. Give it to Him.

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Permalink Reply by cicpastor on March 17, 2009 at 3:17pm

Jesus said that Moses allowed divorce because of the hardness of the heart. If someone is repeatedly abusing a person then the abuser has a serious heart issue. You may not agree but you can leave situation. The issue is what do you do concerning "re-marriage" can you get a divorce BIBLICALLY!?


I hear and respect what people say in regards to give it God and in addition that I have to say quite honestly that we give it to and God gives us an answer or may send a person or help in return.

As a pastor I have had to step in the middle of many beatings of people both male and female where the abuser claims to be a christian. I've had to respond to attempted murders and I have sat in the hospitals with women with broken arms ribs, busted lips and do not let me get started on the children that are present and the lies that are told about what really happend.

So we are dealing with TWO DIFFERENT ISSUES

The first issue is the Value and Respect of Life mainly your own. In the context of a male beating a woman this is not the sacrificial love that Christ displayed so is this person even a christian. Yes, people makes mistakes I'm just raising the question.


The second issue is divorce. The bible never says that you cannot "physically" leave because your life is in danger.

Jesus gave reasons FOR DIVORCE. Not reasons for knowingly putting your life in jeopardy unless it is to somehow become a witness and matryr for His Namesake.

So leave, stay alive, pray for the abuser. If there was adultery commited against you are free to remarry. If there was no adultery then "biblically" you are not free to remarry but you are alive to live for God and a relationship with the one that will not leave you forsake or beat you. He will chastise when you are wrong though. :-)

Now the whole issue of can I divorce anyway and be forgiven is another topic. I am only replying abuse and can the person physically leave.

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Permalink Reply by Viktory on March 17, 2009 at 9:52pm

cic pastor, well said. However, that latter part of your statement cannot be ignored, you mentioned "Can I Leave and Remarry" THAT is the heart of this thread, can I remarry. It's not biblical.

A violent spouse is a cruel situation.

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Permalink Reply by Titus on April 10, 2009 at 1:20am

You can definitely seperate. However, we can not divorce unless the reason is fornication according to the scriptures. And if one does divorce, if they marry another, God views this as adultery . This applies to those who have divorced because of violent physical abuse. The woman or man being abused must seek the will of God concerning whether to seperate or not. But, the freedom to divorce and marry another only comes when the other spouse commits fornication.

~ Titus

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Permalink Reply by Simplysaved on April 8, 2009 at 10:12pm

Amen! Cicpastor hit it on the nose!

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